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I don’t know if you would agree, but I believe that the best works of art are created in moments of sorrow, helplessness, despair . There is definite beauty in pure, utter misery. The heart cries out for mercy – “Let me out, just let me out!!” The passion unleashed paints magnificent oils; composes music from some inner hidden depth within you; scripts the best play ever.
There are few people who experience pure joy for extended periods of time – isn’t it typically sorrow that occupies a comparatively larger portion?We are drawn to melancholic strains for the simple reason that, yeah well, no one wishes to be unhappy. Paradoxical, huh 
? Music written in such temper is one that stirs a host of unbidden memories, invokes that twisted smile – “Yeah, I’ve been there – but I am still standing, breathing, living. Pulled it off, eh?”. Some raagas invoke that reaction (e.g. Panthuvarali).It pierces your senses, absorbed in your memory more easily vis-a-vis a light hearted, giddily happy composition.
I remember feeling so when treated to a Pandit Vishwamohan Bhat’s composition – the alaap started off slow, sad depicting the separation of two lovers -the pain in the waiting, wondering if all is well, the tenderness of recollection – terrible in its beauty…
Had the most magical moments of my life 2 hrs before 13th March 2008 rang in…
Picture this -
Fireworks welcoming your arrival, crescent moon reflecting on rippling waves, candlelight in glass-jars, the company of your cherished friends, wonderful spread (Pancakes and honey..love them!!)
Thats what you get when a batch trip to Goa luckily coincides with Birthday Lucky me
The past year has been very tumultuous – Room number C-19, IIM Kozhikode has seen a lot of emotions
From fleeting moments of ecstasy to extended periods of pure misery
Flights of Inspiration to sheer Stagnation
Many lessons learnt – or have I not? Time will tell
Happy Birthday to me!
Just watched Requiem for a Dream yesterday…
Desperation.. one feeling that runs through the movie..weaved into it, by Clint Massell’s composition.. the strings pull at your heart.. searching for hope, for retribution..seeking, seeking…and in that search losing, losing oneself completely…
How terrible to wantonly subject oneself to delusion..
Yearbook filling, senti-songs like “Ye dosti hum nahi chodenge” being spammed on the internal messenger.. you realise you have only a month of college life left..
You realise it when you see the sun setting, each evening different from the other.. You realise it when you take in a deep breathe once class is done.. Feeling the wind blow gently, caressing you, whispering gently… All is quiet and you feel your heart beating lightly..
IIM K PGP10, will miss you so … your quirkiness, each one of you so special, so different.. the diversity in talent is amazing and humbling.. the lessons learnt from you, immeasurable..
” Kuch aisa karke dikha, khudh khush ho jaaye Khuda…Aashaen khile dil ki, ummeeden hasen dil ki, abh mushkil nahi kuch bhi, nahi kuch bhi…”
What’s with the buzz around “One” ? The One (Neo, Matrix Trilogy), One Laptop per Child, One ring to command them all (LOTR), One lakh car. Sure there would be more. Wonder what the next One would be about.
Community Animators- WWA Meenangadi
Was witness to a phenomenon early December’07.
As a part of a Microfinance project, had the opportunity of interacting with an NGO, WWA (Women’s Welfare Association) headquartered at Thomatuchal, a remote Taluka of Kerala’s Wayanad district. The distance covered from Kunnamangalam, (IIM Kozhikode) to the said place is some 105 km, hopping on 4 buses across unpronounceable towns/villages (in Kerala they are pretty much amalgamated) these being – Chundal, Meppaty, Vaduvanchal, Thomatuchal. Phew! Helped that I is from Malu-land
As a part of an activity based costing exercise, had to document the main activities conducted and the time taken for these.Mr Antony Kunnath, the Program Coordinator-WWA, graciously accompanied me to a Community Animator (CA) Meeting at Meenangadi (another small town nearby). The CA’s are the individuals (mainly women) who do the back-breaking work of “forming-norming-storming-performing” the Self Help Groups for that Taluka.
The dedication of these folks is out of this world! The number of hours put in meeting, training and listening to 20(people)*8(groups in a rare case 15 groups!!)=160 people, following up on their activities, attending central level, taluka level meetings is overwhelming. And for all that effort they get paid in 3 digits/month.
Like hell they cared!
Looking at them swapping stories, sharing tips on effective loan recovery over a cup of tea and snacks prepared at the meeting venue, I wondered. This was Deming’ intrinsic motivation at its best – the kick you get out of making another person’s life better, that too when you “have better things to do” – woo-hoo! These women typically undertake this role as a part time job. Ok, a favorite hobby. They revel in the status it confers on them in their small village/town – I’d like to call them the “Lakshmi Ammas” (Yes yes, shot @ HUL, but well 
). Good news, considering the gender has been persecuted as quite the reverse in the Great Indian Dowry Story.
One wishes one were a part of this small but revolutionary movement. One wishes one was born among them, to do such sweet work. One wonders whether some, if not all, have reached the last and final tier of Maslow’s pyramid- that of self actualization. Ironically, they do this to reach our “levels”of course.
So where do you get that elusive state of “fulfillment”? It can be found anywhere – the best way, they say, would be to listen to someone’s grievances, earnestly, without design. Unburdening another person’s heart is the best gift you can give him/her- the gift of your time, a precious resource these days. Having experienced the joy of doing so, can’t help but share it with you!
Don Quixote – that name which conjures up an image of a disheveled knight “charging at the windmills”. Think again. Behind that comic veneer lies a parable – one of passion, belief, love.
What gives a person a reason to live? What is life when one goes through its motions? Isn’t it love that powers us human beings? Isn’t it this emotion that drives the life-blood in the veins of life? The love of an idea, thought – anything. It takes “foolishness” or “madness” to pursue a seemingly lost cause. Well, who cares as long as you believe?
While Shaw would say that it is the unreasonable minds of few that germinate the power-ideas, how many have had the courage to acknowledge this madness that time? Rare indeed.
Switch to 2007 – the Age of the Indian Entrepreneur. Being different, “mad” seems to be “in”. Talk of start-ups buzz around me all the time. “I do not wish to work for another person..” but half of them end up doing just that. The power of your dream diminishes exponentially with the number of people you share it with. Keep it low. Keep it your cherished secret. Those very people you glibly gabbed it to would torture you with your failed dreams later on. The path of madness is one of unreasoned action, where your whole being lives, breathes that dream-not hollow talk.
What happens when reality hits you hard in all-cruelty? Cynicism sets in. Innocence is lost. One wonders what happened to that dream, that which you held onto with the slenderest rope of hope – hoping, wishing till the last minute, powering your prayers, thoughts in your waking moments into them. The “fullness” you experienced at one point of time is like heady opium – you wish for it more and more – not realizing that the moment has passed, that it’s time to move on – not believing it possible to be so. One feels foolish when one sees reason, is ashamed one ever attempted to think otherwise. Anger burns whatever beauty remained. An empty shell remains.
Where does one go from there? Well, isn’t that the triumph of humankind – to pick up the shattered bits and move on? One mutters soothing phrases from the good philosophical books. One is determined to not feel bitter, look forward, gaze to an uncertain future, look for new reasons to live.
“Make a heap of all your winnings and risk it on one turn of pitch-and-loss,
And lose, and start again at your beginnings
And never breathe a word about your loss”
The saga of madness.Sigh.
My 1st face-to-face encounter with an avid blogger? Sometime in 2005, when my colleague at Wipro surreptitiously shared her blog with me- considering all that hype-hoopla of the IBM-IIPM controversy that time. My opinion on the medium then -
“Blogging? A waste of time! Blogging? Revealing your innermost thoughts and releasing your pent up emotions in public domain. Blogging? Dangerous medium-could get ya fired!Blogging and me? Naah!”
Well let’s say B-school transforms your opinions about “stuff”. Helps that everyone must have AND express opinions on everything and anything. Part of being clever, erudite. Besides the aforementioned pejorative pointers, one discovers the other side of the medium – Business blogging, arranging thoughts bla bla bla..Got me thinking – “Hey, not a bad idea after all!” Besides, what-a-way to start spanking New Year!
Many begin their Blogo-land adventures in the sunrise of their B-school journey. Mine would be at sunset – Mohatarma would be graduating in Spring’08 from the “haloed” portals of IIM Kozhikode. So is this yet another B-school blog?”Postmortem analysis-aa”? Nopses. This shall be just-another-blog-in-a-million-drops-of-blogocean filled with the random observations, thoughts of a dreamy Piscean!
So here goes post 1! <trumpet trumpet>
