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It’s funny how small things can make your day, bring that smile forth many a time 
An envelope enclosing a copy of my Colgate Palmolive appointment order and a sweet letter from grandparents bore a Rs 20 stamp that brought forth fond memories … it depicted the golden-yellow blossoms of the Kani Konna poovu…
Amaltaas in Hindi/Urdu language
The sight of Konna (Cassia fistula/ The Golden Shower Tree) poovu (flower) in late March-April heralds Vishu, the Malayalam new year, which typically falls on 13th/14th April. The flowers are an integral part of the Vishu Kani – the first sight (Kani) a Malayali sees on the New Year Day.
Vishu Kani
As with everything Indian, we have a sweet tale associated with why the Konna poovu is bestowed the honor and not just any other flower in the tiny-winy spring season:
Long-ago-but-not-so-very-long-ago, in the holy temple town of Guruvayoor,lived Manjula a 5 year old girl. Hailing from the Varisiara community, her mother used to string flower garlands for the deity. In that tender age, Manjula developed a strong attachment to Guruvayoorapan (Lord Krishna)- it is said that she was one of the few devotees who could actually behold the Lord.
So one day, little Manjula desired the yellow raiment worn by the Lord, which He gladly presented to her. But the envious temple-priests proclaimed that she’d stolen it and created a huge ruckus. Disgusted that her simple wish had caused such a commotion, she decided to returned the gift. The Lord refused to accept the same ; it was tantamount to insulting His beloved Manjula. As a testimony of her devotion, He flung the garment outside, which on touching the ground, blossomed into the Konna tree.
Splendid isn’t it ? As said earlier, can’t help but
This is one book which is un-put-down-able; one of the few that touched me so much that tears did flow! An easy read, it flows smoothly, neither too fast nor too slow- not many authors achieve such easy story-telling…
A book about women – true, the setting is war-ridden Afghanistan- but a story of many subjugated women around the world. A saga of what may seem to be their biggest weakness, but what keeps their sanity and gives them strength-that of acceptance, understanding with grace; of valuing the simple pleasures of life; familial values.
This is a story of two women, Mariam and Laila, in Rasheed’s unhappy household. Embittered by the losses of his first wife and their son, eccentric Rasheed pours his frustration on the seemingly hapless women. How they live through the ordeal in a Talibanised Afghanistan, a surprising happy-happy twist 2/3rds into the book make it an engrossing read.
I loved the small-small usages of Farsi-Pashto in the book.. Mariam-”jo”, “hamshira”,”Khodaya”. The sweet-short descriptions of Herat, Kabul sprinkled here and there do not interrupt the flow; unlike several poetic descriptions which certain authors indulge themselves in – good if given in small portions at the right point, which usually doesn’t happen.
The liberal outlook of certain families described astonished me- the pre-Taliban times seemed so normal; there were those that were still uneducated and bound by rigid rules, but there were free women too- who could speak their mind, follow the profession of their choice. Because from the time I could comprehend politics Afghanistan seemed like this decadent place. I thank God it wasn’t as bad as I thought it was! A recent article in the news paper on a lady managing a hotel in Kabul seemed very encouraging too Times are hopefully, slowly but surely, changing for that beautiful country…
Overall: Wonderful. A must buy
It’s all hunky-dory in the beginning. As GDR(Shantaram) says very succinctly, while a man’s life is not complete unless he has won the love, respect and trust of a woman, he has to live his life cherishing that trust reposed on him by her. The 1st part is damn easy considering we have coffee-pubs, PVR, discos, credit cards, telephone service providers . The 2nd bit, about re-creating that magic everyday till-death-do-us-apart is a problem.
A few factors that bring the sunset onto relationships:
1. Long distance
Have seen it happening in many relationships at IIMK. What was solid as a brick for 5 years, just crumbles. It works yes, but when the couple have known each other for ages -say childhood-sweethearts? College-romances -50/50. Else you have another convenient cushion in the vicinity – why bother with those phone calls and once-in-a-blue-moon meetings? It has more to do with whom you spend more of your time with?
2. The Crying-shoulder
Did your relationship start because you were there when the person was going through a bad patch? You were friends before yes, but suddenly the depressed person looks at you with a new look? And you gave in? Sorry, that’s another cookie that crumbles. The choices made by a person in depression are very different from when he/she is normal. Soon it would be “Yeah, thanks a lot for being there then. But I’m a different person now!”
3. When why-nots become whys
When all people see are the “obstacles” and “sacrifices”, wish all the more they were free. The joy in the relationship is long gone, boredom has set in. You’ve caught the bird, put her in a cage. Now that you can hear her, see her all the time, you just ignore her.
4. Guy less enthu than girl
Who does the problem solving for the couple? For e.g.: Who tries to figure out how to placate the ruffled elders? Where do you settle down?
Ideally, it should be done together through discussion, but more often than not when the lady does more of the thinking- warning bells!
5. Black and white–> Grey
When “circumstances”, “career” and many more dilute, define the flow of the relationship, from choices to confusion. From “can do”–>”maybe”.
6. Breaking than making statements
No brainer this one.
Most of the above can be zilched by patience, forgiving and more importantly, giving. But no one has the patience anymore to work things out. Two years apart and you wonder about changes in your needs, changes in you as a person, why bother about the other person? No wonder then, you have relationships breaking and making like switches. On-off. Glow-Darkness.
Makes one wonder about True love. Funny, one uses the word “true” with the word “love”. Such an abused word-love. Is it confined to that Golden Era of written letters, smoky trains? It does exist -I feel it each time I see that spark in my grandparents when they administer medicine to each other’s eyes every evening .
Blessed are they who strive for it, for they shall have it.
Strive is the keyword. Together.
This is a story of the lives and loves of the people from the eyes of Shankar, the one-time receptionist at the regal Shahjahan, one of the largest and best hotels in Calcutta in the 1950s.
The 1st half chronicles the narrator’s story till, as luck/fate would have it, he lands a temporary job at the Shahjahan. It is in the second half when the book grows on you- the characters, who were fleetingly mentioned in the 1st half, are fleshed out by the author through short narratives stitched together seamlessly to form a colorful quilt.
Tragic and triumphant love. Betrayals. Double-speak. Everyone has hidden skeletons here, a story to share with the then naïve Shankar -Marco Polo, the diligent, mysterious hotel manager ; the innocence of Connie the Scottish cabaret dancer; the heartrending tale of Karabi Guha, the beautiful hostess; Sata Bose, the suave receptionist. People find it easier to open up to a “green” person, isn’t it? Their lack of prejudice , their trusting ways, the ghost of what they were earlier… ?
Couple of beautiful lines that struck me the most:
1. “Clouds bloodied in a mining fire, sunset comes” – from Samar Sen’s poem on Curzon Park.
2. “The first symptom of love in a young man is timidity; in a girl it is boldness. The two sexes have a tendency to approach and each assumes the quality of the other” – Victor Hugo
Overall: Good. Worth a read once, but I wouldn’t recommend a buy.
Summary of Indian Lev (Love) Story – Phillumy ishtyle:
Guy meets girl, vice versa. The pair (1st sight or after some fights) decide they are inseparable. But trouble is around the corner- many permutation combinations out here considering there are parents, evil uncles/aunts, angry bros/sis; cultural elements like caste, region, religion et al
Cut to End result:
1. Levezhs *win over grouchy people – All’s well that ends well – Happily ever after!
2. Levezhs die leaving the aforementioned angry people morose, remorseful
3. Levezhs split marry people pointed out by grouchy people and live life anyways
We do not want to discuss sad-weird endings 2 and 3.
What is End result 1 – “Happily ever after!” ?
Let’s do the Venn diagram-walla complement thing:”What would destroy marital happiness” complement= “Happily ever after”
1. “Well, now I’ve got the girl/guy – let’s just focus on other stuff”
Mistake one – Taking each other for granted.
NEVER EVER. Kills the reason why you got married in the 1st place! Just getting married doesn’t mean the work is over. Why it has just begun! Getting married is like buying a car – Dream come true yes! But it needs fuel and maintenance.
2. “Where is that sweet person who understood me” wonders wifey, “Why doesn’t she understand how tired I am after work, how can we speak?” wonders hubby
Mistake two – Expecting the other person to “just understand”.
Explain. Communicate. It wasn’t tedious in your courting days, it shouldn’t be now. Point 2 can be taken as a subset of Point 1, come to think of it. But me-thinks it’s important in itself.
3. “Ah well, bending on my knees, dancing in the rain are meant for giggly couples, not married folks like us!”
Mistake three – Trading sweet nothings for sour somethings.
After a honeymoon period of 1 month – God, that’s long, that should be one week!
Hubby dear and wifey sweetheart come back to “drudgery” of everyday life -cook, clean, catch the train, face the rain -life goes in trying to live.
Why, it is small innocent gestures that gladden the heart, brighten the day. Go on, make a “fool” of yourself for her/him!
4. “Well, let him/her come and speak first”
Mistake 4: E-g-o
No please? Just take the 1st step. If you wait for long, the better half would have a lot of pent up anger – get it done with asap.
Avoid mistakes one, two, three and four – my think on the essential ingredients for happily- ever-after! Use imagination for garnishing, serve it warm
Disclaimer: Above is yours truly’s take on what went/is going wrong in a zillion Lev marriages.
*Levezh: Malu-English medhed (method) of pronouncing Lovers. Roll the r’s.
1. Bash ‘em – squeamish, affair; appropriate sight-hand coordination skills required
2. Gas ‘em – Exposing city-pollution-exhausted pair of lungs to poisonous fumes! Allergy!
And yet you have them sing-song buzzing and needle-pricking at dawn and dusk.
Now we can Electrocute ‘em! And man, with what style! Pleased to be revealing the recent phenomenon at many an Indian household:
ELECTRO-RACQUET!
How to use:
1. Charge the battery at a plug-point (No Eveready’s, no other contraptions yahoo!)
2. Press red button on the side to activate current through wires. The red LED glows to indicate the same. I guess placing the button on the side reduces the chance of accidentally pressing and getting a tiny shock (mosquito bite-types ) yourself – thoughtful!
3. Swoosh around the area you hear the pest.
4. A crackling sound confirms extermination of the entity.
This one’s on the lines of the Pest-o-Flash we see blinking blue, crackling at many a mess. It sure is more sophisticated than alternative one, more air-friendly than alternative two mentioned on top of this post. Besides, it’s a whole lot of fun (humble apologies to People for Ethical Treatment of Insects)! Come evening,cousin sis and her hubby have a ball of a time competing to electrocute them menaces out of existence . Eeee yaaaa!!!
